lost in thought!

Staying home was always a bitter experience. In my dad's presence, it was a time to look both sides, stay focused and alert because any loosening and relaxation would always win me a slap and bitter scorching. And in my mum's presence it was a time to relax and feel free from anything and everything in life..mum never held me accountable for anything. I feel faulted every single minute of my life and I always want to be free but it never seems to happen. Dad always wanted me to be a better man...to simply or rather furiously imitate the dress code of those other guys he saw across the streets, guys who wore blazers and neatly ironed shirts and on the contrary, I was ever clad in T-shirts and wash and wear garments. The boys across the streets seemed well groomed and ready for life in his perception and I seemed un bothered and not caring about tomorrow. I think his positive values about me were hanging on lightly, he seemed to have some un withering belief...

I deprive myself of any opportunity to grieve, i have the highest regard for myself. i think I'm way better than you. you know why? because i loved you, and you never loved me back, you hated on me. i cant to grieve your love,  because it never existed.

what is truth? does anyone there know what truth really means ? not just in their perspective? when you look closely at the scene of order and chaos, do you see what i see? may be the truth doesn't even exist, may be what we think is all we got, whoa, that would be a terrible loss for negative thinkers, what if there's a universal acknowledged truth about certain things, religion, business, success, life, love, hate, luck...??????/ am growing accustomed to the notion that your environment greatly shapes your personality, "you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with." some inspirational speaker said that. now i pause to you this riddle again. from a movie definitely, it used be thought of as truth that all movies make us lazy, retarded and idle, i have got the utmost of my encouragement from movies, especially the tech movies because am a tech guy,  and possibly you can find solace, inspiration and drift your mindset by watching and ca...

sometimes i sit and think about life and its all a paradox, a puzzle i cant decrypt right now, so i resort to finding out how well i can go about this whole mystery that life is, theres no shortcut about this, it seems we just have to go about this step by step, accept the evil that comes with newly attained independence or the helplessness that comes with lack of it thereof,  and , well i like this bit of quote from a tech film called Mr. robot, its close to what i was pondering on, a scenario you gotta read twice, here we go,  "My father picked me up from school one day and we played hockey and went to the beach. It was too cold to go in the water so we sat on a blanket and ate pizza. When I got home my sneakers were full of sand and I dumped it on my bedroom floor. I didn't know the difference, I was six. My mother screamed at me for the mess but he wasn't mad. He said that billions of years ago the world 's shifting and ocean movin...

Biofuels have been around as long as cars have. At the start of the 20th century, Henry Ford planned to fuel his Model Ts with ethanol, and early diesel engines were shown to run on peanut oil. But discoveries of huge petroleum deposits kept gasoline and diesel cheap for decades, and biofuels were largely forgotten. However, with the recent rise in oil prices, along with growing concern about global warming caused by carbon dioxide emissions, biofuels have been regaining popularity but not so much in Uganda. A case study in Brazil which has the world's largest fleet of flex fuel cars where close to 80% of the vehicles there run mostly on flex fuels.  Kakira Sugar is preparing to commission its $37 million ethanol facility in July that will produce 20 million liters annually from molasses. With the country’s E20 policy pending implementation, the company expects to see a rise in the local fuel market or potential into the chemical market for products such as hand sanitize...

Yes , you got the question right , am i living, are you living ? we can each take turns answering this, many of us are afraid of reality , is that why we don't take that risk ? is that why we cling to that stressful, enslaving job? if there exists something like reality check, then we need need to really undergo a reality check, take an audit into our lives and gauge where we stand. so there's this friend of mine, and being a modern era full of social networking platforms, i send her an inspirational link to some article that was in fact relevant to her field of study, she brashes it off as trash, i didn't want to believe he was trying to let loose her outgrown arrogance towards me, i quickly diverted my attention to other things so i could avoid any more disgusting and reckless comments from her. Yuh, often you ignore a wake up call intended to inspire you and later give you the extra guts that you need when the day goes awry, i mean when the schedules, deadlines, and...

Its been long and apparently nothing has been going on so i had to keep my mouth shut incase i came up with a disgusting topic. being ugandan , someone would quickly attack me. lets call the attacker mathew. this is not some kiddish dialogue. u need the remote on for PG. Mathew: dude, how do u dare say there's nara going on in Uganda? Me: wo wo , hold up , really is there anything boiling ? Mathew: A lot, idiot, From the election petition by Amama Mbabazi to kasese shootings to 'Bad Black' being released and quickly changing her alias to 'Bad Brown' after a nasty skin breach in prison.......list goes on. Mathew: Do u even own a radio, nerd? Me: Nah, radio? what crap is that? i got data(MBs), bitch! Mathew: heehehe, you never share any constructive news on those tabloids, all yo folks do is feed you on a bunch of crappy videos . or wait, are u a group admin? Me: Nah , so tell me why the hell should i have to bother myself with your endless gossi...

often in life, we live by the famous Pepsi slogan "live for now", well we often think of the future but do nothing about it. when you think of planning far ahead, an evil ideal makes you feel like that is far fetched and may never manifest in your life. quick decisions and fixes to mega problems only relieve us of the tension at the moment. but make us incur double costs in the long run . implementing a sketchy plan with in thirty minutes may save you time instantly but don't forget you will be back to the drawing table for a longer session ahead because the quick fix didn't stand the test of time. we see this often when we go shopping, a few people have a knack for original and durable products . often the price tag seems outrageous but its always worth the embedded quality and build of the product. most times people opt  for the items that seem cheaper . this often leads to purchasing the similar item over again because the latter never lasts at all. that c...

Am deeply stuffed by how rigid parents and guardians can be especially when it comes to their children, they want to restrict and be in control of every bit of their little life from birth till late. parents have much influence to most of our beliefs, cares and fears. our mothers speak the first words of courage and bravery equally into our void mindsets, they make us realise fire is deadly and sometimes forget to tell us its use. when it comes to formal education , they are quick to tell us their struggle and how they paced kampala streets barefooted or wherever they had their education and narrate their struggle until that time they won a scholarship overseas or that prestigious doctorate from makerere, the only university in uganda during their time. surprisingly some want to force it as a choice to their kids, they soil all their failed ambitions and dreams and tell only one part of the story, they look back in retrospect at their youthful deeds and errands and meditate upon t...

Am amazed at how people love and quickly hate . Sometimes things are not what they seem, skimmed milk masquerades as cream. why cant  people ever master the art of showing their true colors ? why should you waste your entire life in pretense and falsehood? if you hate* me, be still and tell it  to me straight in my face. it saves you much calories tending to your individual inner needs than just spending hours lamenting over sheer hatred  .     once you hate or love something, be quick to take your side. there's no accounting for taste!

and for now i realise i have failed at discipline for quite a long time . i can hardly meet a deadline or break a habit entirely. what i decide today, i nullify it the following day not because it was entirely wrong but because i realized i cant truly fulfill what it takes to achieve such highly placed goals.   A few years back, i came across Benjamin Franklin's biography and how he developed and maintained good virtues in his life opposed to the bad ones. he created a daily routine of self examination and registered progress in a single virtue at a time. part of the vices he wanted to break included lack of self discipline, procrastination, laziness, talkativeness, shifting blames, selfishness, mention it. so he listed virtues that could help him reach such heights; temperament, frugality, humility, industry, silence, tolerance, and a few more to make the ideal 13 virtues he lived by and changed round his entire life        ...

               Sometimes you just have to be brave & do it! success tastes sweeter than honey. pain engulfs sweetness, the outer sheath is bitter but the inner layer will get you licking your fingers endlessly. there are many instances in life where success can be tasted .     after a full struggle for a job . searching & improving your skills daily can be disheartening especially if you keep experiencing rejections all the time from company executives and business managers . but the day you land your first job can be breath taking.     what about several years of searching for a loved one ? true love, somebody with the characters you desire or even say adjustable to fit your needs of a good companion ? those are moments of joy. an acolade after winning a marathon ?  there is power in the people. use them to get where you want. know your instincts and trust...

"Blind optimism is like house arrest , it keeps you restrained from accessing the truth."  when everyone keeps assuring you , things are going to work out, everyone is on your side, better times ahead, the future will be good, how sure are they ? how am i supposed to trust them ? These guys are not even astrologists  that they have studied stars and have an enlightenment into my life according to the time i was born , a view that i don't believe personally is true. don't get offended if you are addicted to horoscopes ,  these guys are not even prophets so they can play around with revelations and speaking in tongues. so Ive made it a point to ignore all this imagined positive predictions and embark on a true search for actual inspiration that is tempered by one's true ambitions and the product of your daily toil. don't imagine to wake up in Brussels when you spent a night in kamwokya with no flight arrangements and formal business ties there. lets...

What’s your view of a good job? Over centuries many a people have believed a good job is the kind with less work load, high pay check, encompassed with juicy allowances that cover health bills, education, phone and housing bills. But hell no! That’s not what a good job should be. Mike Rowe in his article http://www.detroitnews.com/story/opinion/columnists/ingrid-jacques/2015/05/29/jacques-discount-dirty-jobs/28083811/quotes that 93000 jobs fall vacant in Michigan and almost every country because simply no one has the required skills and technical expertise. this happens in Uganda where a highly qualified surgeon will earn 1.7 per month while a downtown businessman involved a business where his team that unblocks drainage systems, fixes   nasty Kampala manholes and shovels shit for a living around several cooperate workplaces and public toilets will pocket over 16m a month worth of net pay. This income inequality drives these public servants into corruption and othe...